7:00 AM

wakeup

Diaper change, brush teeth, get dressed, mama gets dressed and brush teeth too. Maybe nurse before or after we get dressed. As she gets older, maybe it will evolve into a glass of milk or water.

8:00 AM

outside time

Unless it is dangerously cold or hot, or a bad thunderstorm. In that case, we will do an indoor exercise activity such as climbing up and down the stairs safely or dancing to music. Outside time can also involve dancing or instruments or whatever we want.

9:00 AM

breakfast

the most famous part of my day. people love to see what my husband cooks for me. but i want us to make things that bring US joy right now.

and what brings us the most joy right now is watching our baby learn and grow.

If I’m feeling ambitious: an egg with spices, a tomato from our garden, a slice of almond buttered toast, and fresh berries

if not: a handful of cheerios and half of a banana (and then I eat the other half of the banana too)

If really not, then I ask my mom or husband to cook something for her.

I learned today that my baby is happy to wait for me to cook a bit extra for myself too.

she used to scream at me if I didn’t get the food to her fast enough.

but it isn’t my job to get food to her IMMEDIATELY THE SECOND SHE IS HUNGRY

my job is to be her mother and be present with her while she eats.

and the best way to do that is not to rush around cooking quickly to throw food on her plate as I cook the next thing.

the way to be present, is to cook a meal for both of us, and then talk to her about it as I cook.

and then cook it.

and then eat it together

and demonstrate the appropriate ways to do so.

these meal times are for both of us.

10:00 AM

or when done eating (whichever happens first)

work time for baby (active engagement time for mama)

After cleaning up from breakfast together, we make a plan for work time. At her age now, that plan might be pointing at something she wants to play with. That’s fine. allow her to explore and try to see what she is trying to learn, and help with that. Sometimes I see that she is interested in trying to climb onto something. So instead of trying to stop her, during work time, I will allow her to try that out, and I will be right there to catch her if she falls. I will do my best to prevent any serious injury. She doesn’t need to be afraid, and she can safely learn to climb.

She can now climb off the bed safely, up the stairs, and she is currently working on down. She isn’t afraid to do any of this because she has practiced in a safe setting.

10:30 AM

Winding down for nap #1

Say goodnight to anyone in the room, head up to bed. Change diaper, try sitting on the potty, maybe change clothes if they are too messy. She has enough outfits for that.

The rate of laundry would be about the same to be honest and you could showcase more of those cute hand-me-downs.

and then read a book or two together

cuddled up on the little rocking chair in the corner

then we close the curtains and say, “goodnight outside”

because we love the outside.

and then we turn on the noise machine.

i hold her in my arms and I sing twinkle twinkle little star.

and then I set her in the crib

and I say,

“goodnight baby I love you.”

and then I walk away and close the door behind me.

Sometimes she cries for a minute or two

sometimes she settles down right away.

sometimes she lays there and babbles to her stuffed animal lion.

Tagmane the Lion.

sometimes she cries for a while and I try to wait because I know I cannot always be there for every struggle she goes through.

Of course, if she sounds truly distressed, I run to her.

and I comfort her and nurse her and I make sure she is safe and healthy. I want her to know she can depend on me if she needs me.

But i trust her to sleep on her own. I trust that she is safe. I have fed her, she has clean clothes, her diaper is dry, the temperature is good. I’ve done everything in my power to make her sleeping environment comfortable and safe.

and so I can walk away

and know that I am a good mom.

and I know that i Love her

and i know that she loves me. And I can get some work done. After I put her to bed, I ask myself, “what do I want to work on??” And I consider what is most immediately pressing. And I focus on that. Or I try to, at least.

It is hard to focus sometimes. I am working on that.

noonish

wake baby up

sometimes i wait for her to wake up, but often forced wakeups jolt us into action. We set alarms for ourselves because they get us going. They allow us to be more productive. They allow us to make better use of our time. If we don’t want to stay up all night, we need to balance our sleep schedules. This is true for babies and it is true for adults.

After baby is awake (by herself or by me), we change her diaper as needed and take some time to freshen up, then take her downstairs to start lunch.

I can give her milk or a small snack while I or her dad preps lunch. lunch for all of us to eat together.

Lunch is typically a combo of leftovers and fresh fruit, so something cooked newly if I’m feeling up to it. But usually it is something cooked creatively together from leftovers. Today we had pulled pork tacos with fresh cilantro, green onions, pepper jack cheese, and locally made avocado salsa

1:30 PM

Field trip or focused activity (maybe a playdate with friends)

tomorrow we’ll go to the Leslie Science and Nature Center. I used to work there as a summer camp educator. I love the way they teach and I love the space. Yes, the ground there may have been contaminated by radioactive waste that may or may not have affected the way we all function and communicate… but it is a nice place. Beautiful hiking trails, real birds of prey that you can visit up close for free any time, and a natural playground. I am likely to meet other like-minded parents there. That and at the University of Michigan Botanical Gardens. They also have seasonal special activities. I particularly like the Tropical Rainforest and Desert rooms. They also have a natural outdoor playground with hiking trails and community gardens.

I also am a big fan of Gallup Park. Who needs zoos when you have ginormous geese and swans up close and personal? Fat squirrels, pretty ducks, river rats.

Gallup Park has 3 playgrounds.

The first is close to the entrance, across from the canoe rental pavilion (which is also rentable for parties) and has a big salamander.

The one most people go to is huge and beautiful by a river dock. It might be my favorite park. It’s hard to say. I like a lot of them in town for various reasons.

I’ll write more about Gallup park another time.

Perhaps I’ll write some playground reviews.

3:30 PM

Winding down for nap #2

Get home to start winding down for that second short nap. I keep the routine the same as the first nap. change diaper and outfit if dirty, read a book, close the curtains, turn on the fan, sing twinkle twinkle, “goodnight baby I love you.”

Sometimes I let her sleep for an hour (or more) if we’ve had a long day or a hard night, but I’ve noticed if I let her sleep too long, she has a harder time falling asleep at bedtime.

We’ve had a few days already when she fights that second nap, so we skip it and have a very early bedtime instead. I’m talking 5:30 or 6:00 PM. But that’s okay, I know her schedule will adjust gradually as this nap gets fazed out.

She is usually asleep by 4. But some days it is pushing until 4:30.

Which makes me wonder if it is necessary at all. Maybe some days she needs two naps and some days needs one. Just like me ha. I sometimes take a quick nap myself during this nap. Or I try to relax a bit and read a book or stretch. Take some time to wind down.

5:00 PM

Wake up baby, change diaper if necessary, nurse or give a small snack.

Play with baba or mama or Opa or Oma inside or outside while somebody (or two somebodies) cooks. Or play by yourself while we can keep an eye on you. It’s important for you to have time to play without us breathing down your neck. I trust you to be safe.

6:00 PMish

Dinner

We all eat together, outside if the weather is nice. We like to sit under our big deck umbrella. It was an investment, but it was worth it. I’d rather have a big umbrella at home where I can use it outside every day than at the beach where I can only use it a few times a year at best. It’s funny that we’re often more willing to invest in a future vacation or future experience than we are to invest in ourselves and our homes now.

Anyways, dinner. Everyone who lives in the house gathers together, and maybe even friends are invited too. Though I prefer to have breakfast with friends for some reason. Maybe because I’m out of social energy at the end of the day, it’s tiring to meet someone new right before bedtime.

Octavia tends to get more overwhelmed or anxious towards strangers and even family at dinner time.

She wants to be held by mom.

But in the morning, and sometimes in the afternoon, she is excited to laugh at a stranger’s funny face. And if you really catch her fancy, she’ll show you how she can rawr like a lion.

Anyways, for dinner my mom or husband often cook a big meal. Slow-cooked meat or soup, garden or farmers’ market fresh veggies (or grocery story… Tavey likes shopping at the local Chinese store the most.), Though when we’re home alone, Tavey and I often resort to quickly cooking Chinese dumplings or frozen pizza. Though I’d like to get into making dumplings ourselves more often.

And then we have fresh fruit for dessert.

or some cake or cookies or some other treat if we made one for a special occasion.

7:00 PM

start bedtime routine (while other people clean up dinner)

Give her a bath every other day or every day if necessary. Too much washing is not good for her delicate skin. Her skin is so soft and never flakey because we don’t wash off her natural oils every day. We allow her natural biome to flourish. Within reason. Of course if she poops everywhere, it’s bath time. If she ate something particularly messy, sure. If she smells fine, her hair isn’t all sweaty, and isn’t visibly dirty, then I don’t need to beat myself up for skipping bathtime sometimes.

But generally, it is good to rinse off most days.

then change diaper and into pajamas,

then brush teeth with her special baby toothbrush and baby toothpaste. I only give her fluoride-free toothpaste, but maybe I’m just paranoid. Her dentist said her 5 teeth look amazing, so I’m not too worried about it. She gets a tiny fluoride coating on her teeth every 6 months there, so that’s good enough for me.

Then we turn on a lamp if it is too dark to see, and we read a book or two. And we snuggle up on the rocking chair.

Then we close the curtains and say goodnight to the dark outside world.

we turn on the white noise machine.

and we sing twinkle twinkle little star

and then we say goodnight.

goodnight baby I love you.