This one won’t be published on the day of writing (January 24, 2021) because we haven’t even told all of our family members yet, but my gut feeling was accurate.

Medically, it seems impossible. He or she wasn’t even implanted when I wrote that last entry. I suspect he—just another gut feeling.

Regardless, I felt something coming. It was a known unknown.

And something has come, sure enough. A microscopic human growing inside me. His heart should begin beating within the next week.

The weepiness makes more sense now. As does my aching chest and excessive fatigue.

I have to admit I am a bit terrified.

I have wanted this more than anything for my entire life.

But my current circumstances are far from “ideal.”

I’ve been reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting and it has all this stuff about carefully choosing your doctor and making a birthing plan, but I don’t even know where I’ll be living when the baby is expected to be due. And we are still in the middle of an international pandemic and unable to travel easily. I suppose this is a great impetus to start making some decisions.

I just hope his (or her) dad can be by my side when the day comes, wherever we may be.

We’ll figure it out.

We will do our best.