Everything in its Place
Everything in its place and a place for everything.
-Benjamin Franklin [modified]
I will keep my deeper thoughts here
my business ideas between me and my husband, and of course, my clients
though business ideas spill out a lot in here too
perhaps because I have an infinite well of ideas that is constantly bubbling up and it is hard to contain
I have a million thoughts a day
i’d have to live a million lifetimes to pursue each dream
each fancy each flight
so instead i’ll just write
and write and i’ll write
and hope that some of you get inspired
to do some shit with your lives
do something
do something
just fucking do something please stop wasting all of our time
we don’t have time to keep wallowing in our misery over things beyond our control
we have control
we have so much control
over our choices
over our responses
over our treatment of others
of our treatment of our own space
that’s all I can control
and yes I know that control is fleeting
but my responsibility each day remains the same
to improve the world around me with my words and actions
to make the world brighter and sweeter with my love and my light
the initial ideas hit sticky notes and notes in my phone
quick voice recordings
a blurted out thought
but I’m learning to control the impulsive things I say
I have an initiation disorder
I know lots of people with it
but it can swing multiple ways
in my case, I initiate too much
I initiate at every opportunity
I won “most agressive” from the paper plate awards on my field hockey team each year
It is hard for me to stop initiating and just simply be
yin yoga is helping
helping me to slow down
and remember that it is important to not initiate all the time
it makes me anxious to have more tasks than I can feasibly complete
and the only way to slow down is to do it consciously
and do my best to focus on what is happening in the here and now and to focus on the flow of my writing
and just listen carefully to my thoughts
and decide whether or not the ideas are valid
because not every idea is valid
not every whim is even worth writing down
I don’t need to pick up a rock in every country I visited.
I won’t forget my experiences
I won’t forget the monk who slipped a rose quartz into his hand
The lessons we learn
sometimes we need guides at first
most first grade classrooms have a list of the alphabet on the wall
as a reminder to the children how to write them
but over time, the alphabet displays fade away and are replaced with posters of the periodic table
but now I have a pretty solid picture of that table in my brain
I don’t need to look it up to remember that Helium is the 2nd element and you can find it on the top right side
I can float away and use my writing as a string to keep me tied down to this world
I have something important to say
I have something important to say
I am trying to tell you something important
but I don’t know how to express it with spoken words
that’s why I try to learn so many languages
and you say you don’t understand
I know you don’t understand
i’m doing everything I can to show you.