mind and body

Everything feels different. I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m hopeful. I’m terrified.

So many things could go wrong. But dwelling on those things will not make them happen,

and that won’t make it easier to keep moving forward.

Things will be hard. I don’t expect them to be easy.

Besides, easy is boring.

I’ve never felt this tired.

The thought that my body is betraying me has crossed my mind several times.

But in reality, my body is doing just the opposite.

It is doing something that it was uniquely designed to do.

It is magical, really.

Humans have yet to recreate a machine capable of doing what my body is doing now.

It hurts. It aches. It is wiping me out.

I’ve cried more in the last few weeks than I have in years.

The fear stems from the fact that I have never cared about something so much. Ever.

It’s harder to transcend the feelings in my body these days.

I simultaneously feel more grounded and less attached.

Nothing else feels nearly as important.

Each drop of blood each spike of pain each wave of dizziness

My mind is constantly occupied by my body’s reminders.

How can I focus on anything else?